Free Health Insurance For Adults
Can you read my short essay and tell me what do you think about it?
Is it organized well? If not please help me orginize and correct mistakes. and what do you think about word connectors that I used?
outline
1)Educational
2)health insurance
3) financial support
4) can get expiriences
young adults get benefits by serving their country. Young adult who serves for the country gets free educational scholarship and grands to attend college or another post secondary institution.They will also recieve free health insurance including payments for physicians,dentist and hospitals. In addition, young adults get financial support so they don’t have to pay taxes. Besides that, they are eligible to recieve steady paycheck.
You don’t say what grade you are in, so I don’t exactly know how picky to be here…
1. Your outline needs to be parallel. That is, every point needs to be the same part of speech. “Educational” is an adjective; #2 and #3 are nouns; #4 is a phrase, and the word experiences is misspelled. Your outline should correctly read:
Outline for Benefits of Military Service
A. Education
B. Health Insurance
C. Financial Incentives
D. Life/Job Experience
2. Your topic sentence is fine, other than it needs to be capitalized and more specific. If you are referring to military service, then you need to say that.
3. The second sentence needs to say either “A young adult…gets…” or “Young adults…get…” You said “grand” when you meant “grant.” “Post-secondary” needs the hyphen that I have put in it.
4. The third sentence has ‘receive’ misspelled, needs a comma after the word ‘insurance,’ and needs an ‘s’ at the end of the word ‘dentist.’
5. The fourth sentence does not make sense to me – I don’t understand what you are saying.
6. Your fifth sentence has ‘receive’ misspelled, plus you need to say either ‘a steady paycheck’ or ‘steady paychecks.’
7. You need to add two things – one is something that talks about point 4 of your outline, and the other is a good closing sentence that sort of restates your topic sentence, such as: “Serving your country is a winning idea for today’s young people.” Or, “As you can see, there are many advantages for young people to choose a military career, and this is certainly an option worth considering.”
Uninsured Residents Receive Free Health Care in Virginia